This Means WarVolume I
by PH2W
Summary: AU story where Tony, Kate and Abby are siblings; Daddy Gibbs is not thrilled when they keep trying to one up each other playing pranks;Warning:THIS STORY CONTAINS NON-SEXUAL SPANKING; ABORT THE MISSION… DO NOT READ… TURN BACK NOW IF THIS ISN’T YOUR THING


_**Disclaimer:**__**I am not now nor have I ever been a writer for NCIS; I don't own any of the characters **__**but I do have fun playing the fanfic puppet master of their lives. I only hope to entertain. **_

_**Warning:**__** THIS STORY CONTAINS NON-SEXUAL SPANKING; ABORT THE MISSION… DO NOT READ… TURN BACK NOW IF THIS ISN'T YOUR THING. HOSTILE FLAMES WILL BE IGNORED.**_

_**A/N: This story is complete AU and is my 1**__**st**__** foray into the world of NCIS fanfic. Have fun suspend belief and read it like the fiction it's meant to be… Read, Enjoy, Review….**_

_**--**_

Fifty percent of the time it was like he didn't sleep at all and the other half of the time when he did he was always up at the crack of dawn. It was probably because of the military training or maybe with a family and a house full of people to contend with it was the only time he had to himself. His wife had gotten accustomed to his early bird routine years ago and hardly stirred anymore when he slid out of bed and into their bathroom to get ready for the day. The great thing about his schedule was the fresh hot coffee that always awaited her when she made her way downstairs to their spacious kitchen. Their housekeeper always set the coffeemaker before she left for the night, but he always went through that first pot like lightening. So, just as she was padding down the stairs to face the day she could smell the second pot brewing. Fighting the caffeine demon for years off and on she had all but surrendered because when you lived with Leroy Jethro Gibbs some things became a part of your nature. For Jenny Shepard (married agents were frowned upon and they kept their relationship as covert as they could; only a select few knew at all and keeping her maiden name was part of that ruse) coffee and bourbon were two of those things.

After his second cup the ex-Gunnery Sergeant exited his kitchen for a quick run. His knee was a constant reminder of his age and various injuries, but he always worked past the pain knowing that the moment he couldn't handle a simple jog in the morning was the day he'd have to turn in his badge. As a special agent for NCIS chasing down criminals could come up at any moment and Jethro Gibbs took the lead on those occasions.

He'd been gone nearly an hour as he approached the front of the 3-story home with the circular driveway he shared with his wife and children. All three were currently out to of the house completing school, but had come home for a long weekend. Tony was in his junior year at Ohio State and his girls were two years apart at Hilton Preparatory School in Virginia. It was as close to an impromptu visit as anyone in the family was comfortable with considering the head of the family was an ex-Marine who lived and loved schedules. Mostly the visit happened to appease his wife. The time between official school breaks was too long and she had been missing her off-spring.

Getting to the foot of the drive and stretching a bit he noticed a mess seeping from beneath his sons classic Mustang. He wasn't sure what it was not seeing the disaster head on. The Gunny moved cautiously to the front of the vehicle. He let the gasp escape his mouth and ran both hands through his hair. Circling the car and maintaining a wide berth he avoided the debris that landed on both sides. Shaking his head he entered the house quietly and went for that third mug of liquid calm. All the while he thought, _'I can't believe they're at it again.'_ Someone was in for it when he was done with his shower.

First he went to his oldest daughter's room. He never felt the need to be as gentle with her because she was a spit fire like her mother and knew how to give as good as she got. If he barked louder at her it would give him a few beats to tone it down before he advanced to his youngest. She was far more sensitive and prone to pouting and hurt feelings.

Swinging the door open and turning on the overhead light he barked in his best DI voice. "Downstairs 15 minutes!"

The still sleeping figure wasn't sure she heard right or if she was having some sort of strange dream. Rolling over slightly to lift her head off the pillow and sneak a peek at the imposing body in her doorway. She mumbled. "What?"

"My office 15 minutes and don't make me come up here after you." With that the door shut. Kate hurled her pillow at it pissed that she had been pulled out of her sleep.

When he got to her door he took a deep breath. Opening the door and crossing to the bed he pulled the ear buds from her causing her to crack still sleep filled eyes. She insisted on sleeping with her infernal music, but wasn't allowed to disturb the entire house with it. The I-pod had been a nice compromise.

"Too early dad… what's up?"

He resisted the urge to kiss her forehead and let her get a few more hours. "Downstairs in my office… 15 minutes."

She watched his retreat toward the door and then fell back on her pillow again. Without turning around to face her he added, "I mean it Abigail."

How she hated that name. Who cared that it belonged to some dead Great-Aunt of her mother's; she never used it and when her parents or teachers did it meant she was hot water. Hopping out of bed she cut across to the bathroom that connected her room to her sister's and found her finishing brushing her teeth. Waiting for her to rinse she eyed her askew pigtails and asked, "So what has him up so early breathing fire?"

"Take a wild guess. I'm betting he saw the car before Tony."

"Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap! I knew it was a bad idea. I should have just stopped you, but no I just had to go along. Stupid… stupid… stupid."

Kate just watched her frenetic little sister bob her head and bounce from foot to foot. "Hey, let's not panic and start confessing just yet besides that's not what you were saying last night. Miss _'let's use shaving and whip cream'_. Let him present his evidence. Just hurry up because if he comes up here after us we won't get the chance to worry about the car. We'll be too busy defending the blatant disobedience."

In her room Kate pulled on a sweatshirt over her tank-top and slipped her feet into a pair of socks. She had never been a fan of the hardwood floors that ran throughout the house except in the bedrooms. Hair hanging loosely at her shoulders she met her sister in the hall. Abby had straightened out her pigtails and wore her standard black pajamas. This pair had a rhinestone skull on the front of the shirt and tiny red ones all over the legs. Black fuzzy slippers covered her feet.

Walking past their brother's door they could hear his snoring through it. Well, whatever was about to go down he clearly hadn't turned them in. It was a standing rule with prank wars. If you got caught you dealt with the consequences without involving anyone else.

Downstairs at the door to Gibbs' office Abby quickly started to loose her nerve.

From his side of the enormous double desk he and his wife shared the aggravated father removed his glasses and called his wayward daughters before him. "Sit down."

Leaning on the connecting section in the middle and facing the two tired faces he started right in. "I'm going to give you two minutes to explain what's all over your brother's car and why."

His voice was more than firm and left no room for interpretation regarding his level of seriousness.

"Well, since you just woke us up I can honestly say I haven't seen Tony's car this morning yet." Kate crossed her legs and stared her father down. She figured she was in trouble no sense making it easy for him. Sometimes that streak came up in her without conscience thought.

Leaning so close to her face even Abby scooted away some he glared back saying, "I don't think you want to add lying to the trouble you're in… talk."

"Tony started it. He always does and he never…." Abby was holy cracking under the pressure. Her sister's voice cut her off.

"What's wrong with the car dad?" Kate calmly inquired. She wanted to stop baiting him but was finding it increasingly difficult. She hated that he could never have a sense of humor about these things.

"White and yellow goo and a bunch of colored bits of something… like you didn't know. What started it this time?"

Both girls remained silent. Abby's twitching resolve less stoic than Kate's, but she wasn't about to break the rules of not snitching.

"Caitlin Marie Gibbs you have two seconds to open your mouth and start explaining."

"We knew Tony had to be in by one so I set the alarm for two and then we… dropped eggs … and balloons filled with shaving and whipped cream from my window onto his precious _baby_. He treats that stupid car better than he does us most of the time. But of course you'd be upset at it too since you helped him buy the dang thing and fix it. I mean we didn't do any permanent damage. I just wanted to hear him squeal like a girl when he saw it."

Abby was swallowing repeatedly trying to generate enough moisture in her mouth to speak. Maybe she could attempt to say something to get that furious look out of her father's eyes. Giving Kate a sideway glance Abby could see the defiant look she was directing at him.

"First off the balance of that car money was his graduation gift. Secondly, I don't owe you an explanation for what I do with my money or time. Mostly, and you both better listen up, you don't damage anyone's property EVER!"

Then he turned to his youngest and let his voice slide back into neutral. "And what part day you play in this little caper?"

"Willing assistant," Abby answered somewhat sheepishly.

"It wasn't her idea she just went along because I sold it so well." It wasn't that Kate wanted to be the martyr, but she could handle consequences and their father's glaring disappointment better than her 15-year old sister. She figured it was the benefit of two years more life experience in the Gibbs' household.

Fixing his gaze on his store bought raven haired daughter Gibbs spoke firm but calm. "She force you, blackmail you or in some way threaten you if you didn't participate?"

"Not exactly… I mean it was supposed to be funny. Only Tony was supposed to see it. Besides your knee has been bothering you, so we didn't think you'd be the one up running bright and early. Why were you up running? I mean it's great if your knee is doing better because when I spoke to mom last week…."

"Enough!" Gibbs got up and walked to the door holding it open. He beckoned Kate over and she went to stand in front of him. "Wait outside I'm going to deal with the _willing assistant_ first."

Kate glanced at her sister and had a brief moment of regret when she saw her eyes getting all glassy. Not wanting to get his ire up more she closed the door without further comment.

Abby stood up behind her chair wringing her hands. "Okay, I get how wrong it was and I'm really sorry and I'll clean Tony's car myself till its shiny new."

"I know you will."

"And I'll apologize and mean it."

"Uh-huh." Resigned to the spanking he was about to give her Gibbs hated anticipating it as much as she did. He was already positioned on the edge of his desk. He simply waited for her to come over and face the music. Going over and dragging her into position created more stress then either of them needed.

The silence was deafening. Abby knew what it meant and she knew how long he'd just sit and stare up at her waiting for her to come to him. She didn't get in anywhere near as much trouble as her bickering siblings and this was the reason why. It also presented another problem with so much time between spankings she never remembered how bad they could be. She hated even thinking about it.

Finally she stood before him. Bringing her down onto his lap he'd already made up his mind that she would only have to endure fifteen swats one for each year. She'd be reduced to apologetic puddles by the third one.

"You better start thinking for yourself," _**swat, swat, swat**_ "and stop letting Tony and Kate drag you into their schemes," _**swat, swat, swat, swat**_ "if you don't you're going to end up here again" _**swat, swat, swat, swat**_ "you don't go around destroying other peoples things just because you think it might be funny" _**swat, swat, swat, swat**_ "this prank war nonsense ends today understand?"

She was shaking and sobbing loudly but squeaked out a "yes sir." She didn't want to give him cause to bring his super hard hand down on her flaming hot backside again. It was always worse then she remembered. He was easing her back to her feet and she was attempting to catch her breath and steady her feet. It wasn't necessary though because her dad was holding her hands in one of his and using the other one to wipe the tears from her face. All the while she was mumbling her apologies. Finally he opened his arms and she fell into the embrace. They held that way for a minute or two before he walked her to the door and told her wait as her sister was ushered in.

The door had barely closed when Kate started in. "You didn't have to do that you know. I would have taken Abby's spanking for her. It was just a stupid prank. Tony would have been pissed, but he would've just gotten me back after he had the car cleaned. She's gonna mope around all day now."

"You don't get to throw yourself on the sword now. You should have stopped it before it started. Stop stalling and get over here." He was already removing his belt determined to make the stronger impression on the more willful of his two daughters. Kate had a stubborn streak that was a dangerous combination of his and his wife's.

Showing no fear or remorse only fire Kate let herself get lowered onto her father's lap. _**Smack, smack**_ "you better change the tone of voice you use with me young lady."

She would only grunt, hold her breath for as long as she could and not give him the satisfaction of being reduced to tears.

"I don't care who started it I want it to stop" _**smack, smack, smack**_ "if you two want to hide keys, short-sheet beds, and act like preschoolers fine" _**smack, smack, smack, smack**_ "but I draw the line at destroying property and doing harm" _**smack, smack, smack, smack**_ "I especially draw the line at you dragging your sister in on it" _**smack, smack, smack, smack**_ "you're older and it's your responsibility to be a better example and you will be that better example" _**smack, smack, smack, smack**_ "do you understand me? Caitlin stop holding your breath!"

She let out her breath and a scream escaped as well. "OW! Yes I understand." Her face was completely drenched in tears even though she'd hardly made a sound. Getting Abby in trouble was never good and she really was feeling pretty bad about it. Silently Kate decided to make it up to her sister.

Knowing she wouldn't succumb to hugging and blatant comfort just yet Gibbs placed his belt on the desk and patted her back until he heard her breathe settle back into its regular rhythm. Standing her up he sent her to retrieve Abby from the other side of the door.

With them both standing in front of him, neither even considering taking their abandoned seats from earlier, the thought of sitting causing inner wincing, Gibbs issued orders. "Go upstairs and change then get the hose and bucket and whatever cleaning supplies you need. I want that car and the driveway looking like new. I better not see a trace of egg or balloon or cream anywhere."

In unison, "yes daddy."

As they turned to exit the room they met their mother at the door. Jenny Shepard looked rested and ready to start their day of spa fun and shopping. Looking at her girls she noticed they did not sport the same gleeful look.

"Morning girls, remember our appointment is at eleven-thirty."

Abby took off up the stairs and Kate answered still in motion. "Right mom don't worry we'll be ready."

Going over to stand between his knees Jenny embraced her husband and leaned down to kiss him. When she glanced over his shoulder the belt came into view. Pulling back and flopping into one of the chairs facing him she asked "what happened?"

He took her hand and walked her out of the office to the front door. When he opened it he heard her gasp as loud as he had done an hour earlier. Then he heard her start to giggle soft and low.

"Not funny Jen. With this hot Virginia sun that goo will ruin the finish on the car not to mention what it'll take to get it off this stone driveway. Their taking these stunts too far and I'm sick of it. This is just one I caught who knows what they've done that I haven't busted them for."

Closing the door she couldn't completely remove the smirk from her face. "Kinda makes you wonder what he did to warrant such retaliation."

"Whatever it was they wouldn't tell me." Heading into the kitchen for some liquid wake up he continued. "They did want him to squeal like a girl when he saw it though."

"And he would have trust me. Look I'll go along with whatever punishment you gave them, but you have to give them a reprieve at eleven. These spa appointments were too hard to get. Besides you can't be that mad considering they were just following one of your basic rules."

Confusion clouded his face. "Which rule is that?"

"Never screw over your partner."

"Hardly the same thing Jen," he said.

"Partner… sibling… I think an argument could be made. You don't snitch. So, you going to make me breakfast since Noemi has the day off?"

"Anything but eggs… we seem to be all out."

...

"Abs are you mad with me?" Kate asked standing in her sister's door frame.

"My butt is furious with you, but what dad said isn't true. I did think it would be funny. You can't make me do things I don't really want to Kate don't give yourself that much credit."

Kate walked over and bumped hips with her sister as she was tying up her black Chuck Taylors.

"It would have been better if he would have actually seen it though. Seems a little anti-climatic don't you think?" Abby asked.

"I think I can solve that problem. Come with me."

They scurried across back to Kate's room and she locked her door. Getting out her camera she lead them onto the balcony and started shooting photos from all angles with the zoom fully engaged. She and Abby each posed pointing to the disaster that was his car. When they were done Abby took out the memory card and popped it into Kate's laptop. With a little quick photo shop they sent the pictures off in an e-mail labeled: _Gotcha!!_

Sore backsides and all the girls were in a fit of giggles as they made their way outside to get supplies and hook up the hose. The clean up job was going to suck big time.

...

Tony woke up a few hours later after ten o'clock. When he got out of the shower he sat at his desk and opened up his laptop to check his e-mail. One from Kate… he opted to open that last because she was always sending him self help book offers and pray quotes because she knew it drove him crazy. Then he noticed the tag… _Gotcha!!_

Curiosity got the better of him and he opened it first. Photo attachments… he couldn't imagine what they could be of… Oh, my God! He was seething. Jumping from his desk he was going to pounce on her until she puked and she was going to pay for the carwash. Barreling through her door he was ticked that she wasn't in there. Hearing the laughter he went to Kate's window and peered out. Shaking his head he was glad they'd gotten caught and made to scrub his car. He ran to her desk snatched up a Sharpie and a piece of paper writing:

**You Won't Know Where & You Won't Know When….**

**Just remember Katie…. Payback is a real BITCH!**

**...**

Every part of their bodies ached. It had taken nearly two full hours to get Tony's car clean and the driveway inspection ready. There was so many times having a former Marine for a dad sucked. The man could find fault in Mary Poppins cleaning abilities. They figured the only reason they got off with only one pass was because their mother needed them ready to go on time. As they made their way upstairs they noticed Casanova's door open. They teased him mercilessly with that name. Running into Kate's room they looked for signs of immediate payback. But all they saw was the note.

"Oh, this so isn't good." Abby said.

"Let him try. Dad's senses are super heightened to all things prank war. Whatever he does he's bound to get caught. Then he can walk around with the sore butt."

Walking into the bathroom Abby threw over her shoulder "you think those mud baths have any healing properties for a sore backside?"

"One can hope Abs… one can hope."


End file.
